Sexism and Double Standards in Pop Culture

I’m a proud feminist, so I’m the first one to call out sexism and double standards against women when I see them. However, there is a culture of sexism against men too, particularly in film, that often goes unnoticed, ignored and even mocked. Take the movie Horrible Bosses for example. Now, I love this movie. Sure, it’s not mentally stimulating or complex, but sometimes a girl just needs something ‘light and fluffy’ to laugh at. On the one hand, it is filled with hilarious moments that I laughed-out-loud at, but on the other, there is something so sexist about it that annoys and angers me and that’s why I find it difficult to criticise.

If you haven’t seen the movie, three friends Dale, Nick and Kurt all have “horrible bosses” whom they plan to kill. Nick’s is the typical ‘asshole’ boss, Kurt’s is a raging cokehead and Dale’s (played by Jennifer Aniston) is a sexual harasser. But Jennifer Aniston, aka “Julia” is never actually called out as a sexual harasser. In fact, even the movie art describes her as a ‘maneater’.

Throughout the movie, Julia propositions Dale for sexual favours, pretty much flashes him her breasts and does things like this:

Julia is NOT a maneater. She is a rapist, and this is sexual assault, plain and simple, but Horrible Bosses makes a mockery of the whole thing. There is no doubt in my mind that something like this wouldn’t even be contemplated as comedy if it were the other way around and Julia was the victim, because sexual harassment against women is NEVER OKAY. But it’s funny when it’s against a man, because men can’t get sexually harassed right? I mean, what kind of man wouldn’t want a woman like Julia to come onto them? They can’t be a man at all!

Dale: She stood there with her breasts, right in my face!
Kurt: Yeah. You know, yours doesn’t sound that bad.

Seriously Dale! I mean why wouldn’t you want Julia’s breasts in your face? In fact, Dale isn’t taken seriously until he says he has a fiance that he loves and would never cheat on, at which point Kurt and Nick suddenly have an epiphany that oh yeah, actually that’s not okay. So it’s sexual harassment ONLY if you’re in a relationship and don’t want to cheat? What kind of message is that sending to male victims of sexual harassment? That it doesn’t exist simply because you didn’t want it to happen? That you have to have a valid reason for it? That if you’re a male and single, you can’t be sexually harassed?

I imagine that the conversation between Julia and her female friend would be very different.

Julia: He just stood there with his penis, right in my face!

Wendy: Oh my God, that’s sexual harassment, you have to report him!

And this is where the double standard lies. Sexual harassment against men is a joke, but sexual harassment against women is a crime. Sure, women experience their fair share of criticism when it comes to sexual harassment, but it would never be the main storyline in a comedy. A triumphant drama about Julia overcoming her male chauvinist boss, and empowering women everywhere maybe; But a comedy? Never! Similarly, how many non-comedies can you think of about a man who experiences sexual harassment in the workplace? Or in any setting at all?

Every movie has a dumb character, the one that the audience and other characters in the movie laugh at, and in Horrible Bosses, it is Dale. This further diminishes Dale’s credibility and makes his whole character and storyline a mockery, something and someone to laugh at and find hilariously stupid. The movie really goes out of its way to make you detest Nick and Kurt’s boss, but Julia, like Dale is laughed at. In fact the way they solve the ‘Julia problem’ is for Kurt to sleep with her. The worst boss of them all, the sexual harasser, is the only one whom they DON’T plan to kill? Of course not, because a manipulative rapist maneater is not bad, in fact, she’s hilarious! Sexual harassment against men is not a crime, it’s hilarious! It’s all so hilarious!

Dale in the end does rid himself of Julia, but rather than calling her a manipulative, evil rapist, he calls her

It’s a good thing that sexual harassment against males is getting some air-time in popular culture, but making a mockery of it is just perpetuating the problem. Horrible Bosses is giving people permission to scoff, ridicule and doubt the credibility of sexual harassment against men. Sure, it’s a comedy. I hear people telling me to “take a joke” or “don’t take it so seriously!”, but that’s the whole point- sexual harassment is serious, in both men AND women. I love comedies, and I like this movie. I even laughed at some parts of the Dale-Julia catastrophe, but I think the creators picked the wrong issue to make a joke out of.

Novel Inspiration

“Every book, every volume you see here, has a soul. The soul of the person who wrote it and of those who read it and lived and dreamed with it. Every time a book changes hands, every time someone runs his eyes down its pages, its spirit grows and strengthens.”
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

The Black Dog

Depression- 

The black dog.

Waiting in the shadows,

Insidious. Tormenting. Debilitating.

When you have depression you are told you are a BURDEN.

Made to feel like a deer in the headlights,

Frozen. Scared.

All those eyes watching you, boring into you with their

Pity and

Judgement and

Ignorance.

You are told you are a burden,

When really you are a GIFT:

I’ve learnt to offer my shoulder, rather than say ‘don’t cry’ –

You’ve taught me UNDERSTANDING.

I’ve learnt that asking ‘how are you’ comes with a preparedness to hear ‘not good’ –

You’ve taught me to LISTEN.

I’ve learnt not to brag about how great my day was when yours was filled with despair –

You’ve taught me SELFLESSNESS.

I’ve learnt to see things from your perspective –

You’ve taught me EMPATHY.

You’ve taught me

Patience,

Kindness,

Compassion.

But most of all, you have taught me that love is unconditional,

It makes no demands.

It is unwavering, Fearless.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast”

You have taught me to love in the way that God wants me to-

HOW ON EARTH COULD THAT EVER BE A BURDEN?

You may feel like the puppy left behind at the pet store, that nobody seems to love.

You may feel like the last person picked for the team that nobody wants to talk to.

You may feel like the wilted rose in the garden that nobody seems to care for.

You may feel like you don’t deserve to be loved.

To be talked to.

To be cared for.

When really,

You are the bud before the blossom,

You are the great story within a humble cover,

You are the rainbow after a sun shower.

And you deserve someone

Who will wait for the blossom,

Who will look beyond the cover and read your story.

And who will brave the hurricane to witness your radiant sunshine.

You may feel like a burden,

But you are a TREASURE with an abundance of precious GIFTS to offer.

 

 

© Christel Macdonald and mynovelfancies, 2014.

Welcome to my world!

So, I’ll start off my first post with the obligatory “about me” section. I am a 21-year old, female psychology student from Sydney, Australia. I’ve been studying science for around 4 years now, and whilst I love it, I have always had a passion for literature and writing. I detest essays, but I carry a deep love and passion for creative writing. I love writing poetry (including slam poetry), short stories and prose. I am an avid reader who often imagines herself writing her own novel one day.

So, I have decided to make my impossible, crazy and scary dream become just that little bit easier to reach. I want to improve my writing skills and share my work at the same time, and I feel there’s nothing better to get the creative juices flowing than a blog where others can give me feedback.

My dream of writing a novel may seem a little ridiculous and pretentious, but one of my favourite scientists, Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” If you tell yourself your dreams are too difficult, that you are not good enough, or not capable you will never reach your full potential. So go ahead, tell me my dream is “very difficult” or “unattainable”, and I will tell you that that is the point of dreams- they are supposed to scare you with the enormity of their challenge!